...pick up your teeth, put them in your pocket, and as you get up- punch Life in the nuts as hard as you can!

I will say this again for the 8 billionth time: LIFE AIN'T NO FREAKIN' JOKE. If you wanna have an awesome life, you are gonna deal with some shit; that is a fact. Adversity is going to be something your ass better get used to dealing with, fo rizzle.

Everything in your life will be determined by your attitude. Your attitude and philosophy will either say, "I can overcome this challenge," or "This friggin' SUCKS!" The choice is yours and will affect your mood, your future, your bank account, relationships, and everything else in it.

I've studied the hell outta people who are super successful in life, from Thomas Edison to Nikki Sixx, to Lance Armstrong; they all had setbacks. But the crazy part is- the setbacks made them stronger, smarter, and wiser! Without setbacks, successful people wouldn't be successful. That ain't no New Age mumbo jumbo, that is how life works.

The truth is, in life- shit is gonna go down, whether you like it or not. Your ability to handle Life's challenges will determine your future.

How do you know what you're capable of until challenges come along?

How do you know what you're made of until your back is up against the wall?

Even if something bad happens to you that is completely out of your control, how are you going to handle it? Are you going to let it keep you down, or are you going to use it as a "stepping stone"?

When my girlfriend Wendy was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer almost a year ago, we weren't happy at all. We knew it was some serious shit and that our lives were going to be put on hold. We could've let that bring us down, but instead we were interested in SURVIVING and MOVING FORWARD. To be honest, being scared really wasn't an option. Our attitude was "Let's kick this thing's fucking ass!"

Wendy and I put the whole idea of going away on vacations and all that other temporary stuff on hold to MOVE FORWARD and LEARN. What could we get from this experience? What has it taught us? Who have we become because of this experience? We chose to look at adversity as opportunity. Why? Because that's really all you can do.

All the greatest successful people deal with adversity. They just don't look at adversity as a roadblock- they look at it as a "readjustment" they have to make.

When Life sucker punches your ass (which it will), brush it off, and HIT BACK HARDER. Don't cry, feel sorry for yourself, wonder why bad shit only happens to you, etc. Do what you gotta do and MOVE ON. Every challenging experience will help you grow into a more knowledgeable, smarter and wiser person.

Go out into the world, take some hits, and MAKE LIFE WORK FOR YOU!

-Pistol

I recently judged the Jersey City Battle of the Bands, which was loads of fun. Rock 'n' roll, beer, and lots of great folks- what more could I ask for on a Sunday afternoon?The winner of the contest was a great metal band called In Musth. They ripped friggin' balls and the drummer, Felipe Torres, was f@#king bananas. I haven't seen a drummer that awesome in ages! Unlike MTV's The Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Bon Jovi, In Musth makes me proud to be from New Jersey. Below the photos is a video interview of me and Felipe. Please excuse the f@#ked up lighting in the background. I killed the director after I viewed the footage.

My family and I take a trip to one of New Jersey's oldest hot dog places: muthafreakin' RUTT'S HUT!

Rule #3: Be Willing to Make Some Sacrifices

Getting paid to do cool shit for a living isn't easy. Whoever told you otherwise is lying.  In order to get what you want, you have to be willing to make some sacrifices along the way. You might have to intern, work for free for a while, take a day job,  work late night on weekends, skip vacations, or do other things most people aren't willing to do. If you aren't willing to make some sacrifices, your desire to do cool shit for a living isn't strong enough.

I can't tell you how many people I know who dream about doing what they want for a living, but aren't willing to sacrifice shit. I know a chick who has wanted a better job for years, but doesn't do jack to make it happen. She's not willing to give up weekly trips to the beach to make her dream a reality. Laying in the sun is more important . I know a dude who was once in a well known punk band who bartends now to make a living. He doesn't like his job, but needs the money. We talked about strategies on how to get back into the music biz again and he gave me excuse after excuse. I found out that his rent was astronomical in price which was one of the reasons why he needed to bartend to make money; he didn't want to give up luxury living. He then proceeded to tell me that on his "off days" he didn't want to work on his music career because he was tired. He didn't want to sacrifice anything for his dream. 

Your desire to get paid for doing something you love has to be BURNING. You have to love it so much that you think about the end result and not the pain you're going through to achieve it. How bad do you want it?

Are you willing to give up cable TV so you have the extra money to fund your dream business?

Will you give up your weekends so you can work on writing?

Are you willing to use up your vacation days at work so you can go on more auditions?

Are you willing to take a pay cut by getting a new job that's related to the industry you want to be in?

Are you willing to give up the comfort of being near friends and family to move closer to where your career is?

Are you willing to hustle from 11pm to  3am after you get home from your 9 to 5?

Are you willing to give up watching "Dexter" or "True Blood" so you can take that class or seminar that will move you closer to your dream gig?


In a nutshell: YOU GOTTA BE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE. If you aren't willing to make some sacrifices, give up a few things that give you temporary satisfaction, or you're afraid of how people might look at you- FORGET IT. Your dream is nothing but a dream, and that's it.

What are you willing to give up to get what you REALLY want in life? You don't have to give these things up forever, but you have to prioritize.
 
How bad do you want that shit, muthaf@#ka?!

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Rule #2: Find Somebody who is Doing Cool Shit for a Living and Ask Them for Advice

I can't even begin to tell you how important this rule is. You could be 100% clear on Rule #1, but have no freakin' clue where to begin. Without knowing how to do what you want, or without advice- you'll be stuck. You need to have some kind of mentor or person you can turn to for answers or advice.

My own story

When I first began my music career I had a day job, like most artists. I worked as a manager at a cafe in NYC to support myself, and a few times a week I would get gigs playing music. The problem was, it was never enough money to survive on. The main question running through my head was , "How can I make a living out of playing music or anything music related?" It seemed so hard at the time. Thoughts of my mother telling me "You have a one in a million chance of making it" and other de-motivators ran through my head daily. If I was going to make this music thing work, I was going to have to be serious about it.

Though most of the musicians I knew at the time were struggling to get by, like myself, there were a handful of people who were working at music schools earning extra income. I decided to ask them for some advice and pick their brains. I found out that some of these musicians made a very good living teaching music. In fact, teaching actually paid more money in an hour than most gigs around  NYC paid all night! Though I didn't want to be known just as a drum teacher, teaching sounded more appealing than working in the food industry. I began teaching at a local music school as my first step to remove myself from my manager job at the cafe. Though this wasn't my dream, it was a step in a new direction. Plus, my (ex) wife and I were about to have a baby. I needed some steady cash flow to support a new family.

Fast forward three years later, I was making a very good living teaching. There was only one problem: Teaching in a music school meant I couldn't go on tour very often. When musical opportunities arose, I had to turn them down because of my teaching commitment. I didn't start playing drums to work in a music school.  It was at that point I decided to start teaching privately and focus more on playing music. That way, I could come and go as I please. This time I asked my friends who had their own teaching practice and who worked for themselves how I could do the same. My buddy, Nat, gigged almost every night and taught guitar lessons out of his condo during the day. My other friend, Larry, was making a shit load of money teaching privately. If I was going to make this private teaching practice work, I would need to ask questions because I had no clue how to set up a teaching practice. Some of the questions I asked were:

How much do you charge?

Do your students come to you, or do you go to them?

Do you charge more if you go to them?

Do you have lesson cancellation policies?

How do you find new students?

Do you charge per lesson, weekly, or monthly?


I set up my private teaching practice and eventually made more money in a shorter amount of time than I did working for a school. Yes, I had more responsibility, but I could call the shots. I eventually bought a house, started picking better gigs, and was free to pursue my own dreams due to being self-employed.  Not long after, I was playing music all around the world, writing for Modern Drummer Magazine, and getting paid to teach workshops, seminars, and private coaching sessions. All because I asked the question "How?"

There are people who are doing what you want to do already! Dont' be afraid to ask.

If you want to open a music store, ask someone who owns a music store.

If you want to get an agent for your acting career, ask someone who has an agent already.

If you want to write and get your book published, ask someone who has written a published book.

If you want to make a living as a model, ask someone who is modeling already.

If you want  to make an ass load of money as a real estate investor, ask the top selling agent at your local reality how they did it. Take them out to lunch and pick their brain!

You get the point, right? There are examples around you, everywhere. When I started my company, Rockin Lifestyle, I had no friggin' clue where to start!  I didn't even know how the hell to set up a website! So I started asking myself some questions:

Who are my friends with websites and their own businesses?

Who created their logos?

Did they have an accountant?

How do they make money from their business?

Did they do their own graphic design or hire someone?

How can I get a tax ID?

How do I set up a business account at the bank?

I went out and asked all my friends with businesses for advice. They gave it to me, and I took it.

Don't be scared to spend money for information you need.

I also read a shit load of books on how to set up my own business. I invested money in seminars and audio programs and it was money well spent. Without that valuable information, I wouldn't have been able to get myself to where I am now. Don't be scared to spend $30 on a book with the information you need, or $200 on a class that could change your life. People will easily piss away $40 bucks at the local diner, but are cautious about spending the same amount on something that could be life-changing.  There might not be anybody in your immediate surroundings doing what you want to do, so you might have to invest money in products that can help you. If you delay spending money that is worth it, you are delaying your career of doing cool s@#t for a living. 

Rule #1: Be Specific and Clear About What You Want 

You must know exactly what it is you want to achieve and why. Just saying you want to be a musician, actor, model, writer, millionaire, get a better paying job or whatever, doesn’t mean jack shit. You must be specific in order to get specific results. You can float around for years saying that you want something and actually think you’re moving closer to what you want- when in reality- you’re no closer now then you were 5 years earlier.

I’ll use weight-loss as an example. If you wanted to lose weight, the important questions I’d ask you are:

1) How much weight do you want to ultimately weigh? Give me a desired number of pounds.

2) Why do you want to lose this weight? What is the ultimate reason? Energy? Longer life? More confidence?

3) What exercises will you do to help you with this weight-loss plan? Do you have the correct knowledge on what will help you?

4) What foods will you eat in place of the shit you’ve been eating that helped you gain that weight in the first place? You didn’t just gain weight by accident. We live in a cause and effect world. Every effect (weight gain, bad health) comes from a cause (lack of exercise, poor food choice).

Now let's apply this to our dream career:

I know tons of talented people- actors, musicians, artists- who can’t seem to earn a living doing what they love and what they’re good at. Their problem is that they haven’t been asking the right questions to themselves. “I’ll just keep painting and doing art shows and hopefully get a break,” or “I’ll just keep doing gigs and keep my day job to support myself,” is how they think. Eventually the day job becomes their real gig. The part-time bartending, table waiting, and “temp working” ends up taking over their lives and eventually, the dream is in the toilet. This doesn’t have to happen to you.

If you want to be a writer- what the hell do you want to write about? Do you have a specific style you write in? Are you fiction or non-fiction? Do you want your work published, and by whom? Where do you see your work sold, in major bookstores, magazines, or both? What magazines would be interested in your work? (You wouldn’t submit an article on raising kids to Guitarist Magazine!) What kind of people (your target audience) are you writing to? (Don’t say everybody!) Who are your target audience- frustrated artists, middle-aged housewives, business people, 30 to 40 year old Star Wars geeks? You must know who you’re trying to appeal to. Don’t give me that shit about “I just write.” That may be true, but if you want to make a living writing, you better start figuring out what kind of people like your work, or you’ll just keep writing for yourself and the only person that will see your work is yourself! 

If you’re a musician, what exactly do you want to do in your career? Do you want to be a bandleader, or a sideman? There is a very big difference! Yes, I know you love music- but what style of music do you enjoy playing the most? Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying you can never play another style of music- I’m just asking you what your main focus will be. If you want to play metal, but you’re known as a jazz drummer- that ain’t gonna get you closer to your goal! is your idea of music just for fun, or do you want to actually earn a living from it? What trade-offs are you willing to make to earn a living playing music? (Early on, I made a commitment to never play in a cover band to earn a living. I would rather teach private lessons than be unhappy playing top 40 covers.)

What is the image you’re trying to portray? I remember when The White Stripes first came out, everybody thought Jack and Meg were brother and sister, which wasn’t true. Why? Because that’s the way they portrayed themselves. I’m assuming it was to add some mystery to the Detroit Duo that only wore red, black, and white outfits. If you think the White Stripes just “happened,” you’re wrong. Jack White had a very good idea of what he was trying to do, and how he was gonna do it. Most people who do awesome stuff for a living have a very clear and definite plan of what they want. It ain’t no accident.

If your dream is to become an internationally acclaimed actress and you live in Wisconsin, you better choose where you’re going to move: Los Angeles or New York. Why, because that’s where the industry is! If you want to be a fisherman, you don’t move to the desert. You move near the coast because that’s where the ocean is! If you don’t like cities, don’t become an actor, and also- don’t complain why you aren’t getting the results you want either if you aren’t willing to move.

Figure out what exactly it is that you want. What is it you’re willing to do, and not willing to do?
Keywords here:

What
When
Why?
How?
Where?
Who?

Remember: You must be clear on what you want. Know exactly what you're trying to achieve. If you're not sure, take some time alone to contemplate what you want. I like to keep a journal and write in it daily. That way I can keep track of what's going on in my life. Sometimes, when you're busy and caught up in "day-to-day" living you can forget what it is you really want.

-Pistol

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Let me explain what a "stupid smart person" is. A stupid smart person is someone who is educated, has a good paying job, and appears to be successful to the public eye, but is literally in kindergarten when it comes to social behavior and emotional control. One might think that a person with this much "success" might have it together. WRONG! I can't even tell you how many stupid smart people I meet each day in my life; they're everywhere: the bank, at the office, on the street, in stores- YOU NAME IT!

It just doesn't make any sense!
 
How can a person who studied their ass off to be a lawyer still act like a child when he or she gets upset...in public?

How can a doctor, one of the highest trained professionals, not know about social etiquette?

How can a judge still not know how to speak to people properly, even though that is part of their job?

How come teachers bitch and complain about other teachers? Some teachers need to grow up more than the children!

How can you manage a multi -million dollar corporation and not know how to speak to your workers?

Really, what I'm trying to say is, NO MATTER HOW EDUCATED YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU HAVE MORE TO LEARN.

The education I teach is COMMON SENSE; rules we should know already. Nobody is exempt from common sense. Education is important, but it won't always make you smart. People are missing the "foundations" of life:

*How to speak to people

*How to control yourself in public

*Listening properly

*Common courtesy

*Treating others with kindness


You have to learn to develop these traits, otherwise your formal education is worthless.

What good is you Ph.D., Master's degree, or all the years of schooling or training you've had, if you can't even control your personal life? Everybody wants to be so freakin' smart and show how much they know, but the truth is- WE ALL NEED TO GO BACK TO THE BASICS!

Continue to improve each day. Work on yourself. Do something about your unnecessary outbursts, temper tantrums, negative comments, lack of self-control, and anything else that's not appropriate. It takes work, but it can be done! Remember the Law of Cause and Effect; if you don't like your behavior (the effect), study (the cause) to change it. Behavior will not change on it's own.

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AMMO FOR YOUR MIND

"I find four great classes of students: The dumb who stay dumb. The dumb who become wise. The wise who go dumb. The wise who remain wise."

-Martin H. Fischer 

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For FREE copy of my "11 Kick-Ass Ways to Achieve a Rockin Lifestyle" CLICK HERE!

The other day in the gym, I noticed a bunch of young college kids working out. To be honest, it was hard to miss them- they were fumbling around from machine to machine, exercise to exercise, and kind of disturbing everyone's flow. What really caught my attention was the fact that they had no idea what the hell they were trying to do. One minute they were doing curls (with weights waaaay too heavy), next minute they were doing shoulders, legs, then back. They were clueless on what body parts they were working on and had no idea how to exercise at all. There was no plan or structure for their workout.

Life is very much the same way. It really helps to know what the fuck you're trying to do before starting. Like the dudes in the gym, you could spend hours doing something with no forward momentum at all. When I first started exercising in my late teens, I read as many books about exercise and fitness as I could. I would ask people who were fit how they got that way.  I knew nothing about fitness so I figured I'd heed the advice from more experienced people. Once I got that information I applied it. But, only after I had an idea of what I wanted.

I never get into an investment unless I know what my purpose is; "To make money" is too vague for me. My end result has to be clearer than that. How much money do I want to make? What am I prepared to risk to make that money? What am I willing to lose if I don't? Now it starts to make more sense and I can produce better results with a specific goal in mind.

Each day I wake up I have a check list of all the things that are important to me and contribute to my future. I make sure that I work on these things, even when I don't feel like it.  The end result is clear in my mind, so when I'm tired or feel lazy, it doesn't matter. I see the benefits in my mind of what I'm trying to achieve. When I'm pushing myself in the gym, I don't see or focus on the pain- I focus on the image of what I want to look and feel like in the future.  When I used to practice drums for 10 hours a day in college, I had developed a system that worked on all my weaknesses and made me a better musician. That way I wouldn't be fucking around on the drums working on the wrong stuff. (Believe me- drums are a fun instrument. It's very easy to get sidetracked playing and working on things you don't need to practice!) I knew the end result before I even picked up the sticks! In fact, I had a blackboard next to my drums with the end result written on it. This helped keep me on track and gave me direction.

Even when I spend time with my daughter I picture the end result. My goal is to help contribute to her happiness and make her feel good about herself as much as possible. My conversations with her are meant to edify and be uplifting. The same goes for hanging out with my friends. If I'm getting ready to meet up with someone, my end result is to make them feel good.

You can even ask yourself this question before having sex: What is my end result? Is my goal to satisfy my partner first, or myself? This shit seems silly, but it's life-changing when put into practice.

Before you start your day, ask yourself how you want your day to go. Are you just "going through the motions," or are you working towards a specific goal? Before you start anything, picture in your mind the end result that you want. If you're not sure what that is, think about it, ask questions, do some research, then decide what you're trying to achieve. When you have an idea of your end result, you have a much better chance of achieving it.

The older I get the more amusing I find people. As a musician and public speaker, I meet people from all walks of life and from different backgrounds: Introverts, extroverts, cool people, lame people, bossy people, content people, happy folks, sad folks- you name it!  Whether I like it or not, I picked an industry where skillfully dealing with all different kinds of people are crucial to my business and my own growth in life.

Personally, I have lots of friends with all sorts of different religious and political views on how life should be lived and how our country should be run, etc. Some of them are extremely opinionated and some couldn't give a rat's ass about anything. Sometimes these friends of mine have valid points, sometimes I think they have too much time on their hands. I don't care because I respect them all. We don't have to agree and we can agree to disagree. That's ok with me. As long as you're not hurting somebody I don't care what you choose to believe. You have that right and opinion.

I must admit though, I enjoy the company of some better than others, but I have one important rule: Always treat people with respect , including their opinions. You don't have to agree with them at all, that's besides the point. In fact, if I don't agree with your point of view I'm not going to argue with you about it, especially if it's not super important to me. I despise arguing, so I'd rather "let it go" then get involved in a heated debate that won't go anywhere. For example: I had a dude I kind of know approach me recently and tell me that I should be "more assertive" in being right. When I asked him to give me an example, he told me that I shouldn't agree with people so much and that it's ok to be "right."  When I told him I didn't care if I was "right" or not, he continued to justify what he was saying. I could've argued about it, but honestly, I didn't care enough to.  I just said "Sure. Thanks for the feedback." That was just his opinion on how he would've handled it. Who cares?

Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about an important rule I try to follow on a daily basis: Stop finding ways to become offended. There are lots of people in the world just waiting to be "right" or are ready to argue. They thrive on finding the "wrong" in life and think everybody should agree with them. Man, what a waste of energy! Live your life the way you want to, and I'll live mine the way I want to. You are free to plant your own "fruit" in your own "garden of life." And if your fruit is good, you'll obviously reap what you sow. My life is exactly how I want it, regardless of other people's opinions, who's in power, or the current state of the economy.  Your garden will be the way you choose to sow your seed and crop. Your opinion will not change my life like my opinion won't change yours.

Bullets of Wisdom:

All today- practice listening to what other people have to say. Forget about being right. If whatever it is isn't important enough, just say "F@# it! Sure. I hear what you're saying." See if you can do this without letting your ego jump in and try to be right.  Now if somebody really wants to know your opinion and is willing to really listen, that's a different story. Give it to them!

When you argue with somebody, what are you really getting out of it? Do you think that the other person is really going to listen to you? Do you really have to convince them you're right?  Choose to be an example of your own rockin' life. Live a kick-ass life and handle your own business. Ya dig?


"A man convinced against his will is of of the same opinion still."
-unknown

The other week while driving, I caught myself in a minor negative thought. I was going to see my friends, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, play a secret show in NYC ,and instead of taking the subway, I decided to drive. As I got into my car to head to the show, my brain kept telling me, 'You're not going to find parking. Parking is going to be a bitch!' As these negative thoughts I produced ran through my head, I noticed I felt uneasy as well. Luckily, I realized what I was doing and stopped myself.

First, I questioned myself- 'Why am I creating something negative (no parking) that doesn't even exist? I hadn't even got into Manhattan yet!'

I realized my past negative experiences regarding parking were creeping up in my mind- 'I've always had bad luck finding parking in the past; why should it be easy now?'

Right then and there, I decided to change the way I thought and felt. I told myself, 'I will find parking. There are always people coming and going, so parking shouldn't be a problem at all.' I immediately started to feel better and less stressed.

The two choices were:

1) Think the worst (even though you have no proof it's going to be bad) and be stressed.

2) Think the best and be relaxed about it.

That's all we can do in this world.Think positive or negative. When you think positive, you feel better. When you think negative, you feel bad. Nobody else is affected by our thoughts as much as we are, SO WHY NOT CHOOSE THE THOUGHTS THAT WILL BE BETTER FOR US?

When I pulled up to the venue, there was a parking spot DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. I literally got out of my car and walked 5 steps into the club! Just goes to show, worrying and negative thinking is useless.

Thinking negative thoughts and outcomes will not change the situation one bit. Your negative thoughts and worrying will only lower your energy and immune system (Dr. David Hawkins goes into more detail on this in 'Power Vs Force'). You have two choices; why not pick the good one that makes you feel better?

Choosing negative thoughts is like using your money to purchase things you don't like. You would never do that, right? So why would you use your mind to think of things that don't benefit you? It makes absolutely no sense. You must be aware of your thinking and CHANGE it!

Get out of the habit of "ill thinking." The only person you hurt is yourself! Think positive and let Life work for you, and not against you!

-Pistol